There's Been A Lot Going On and I Had to Talk to Some Food About It

So, long time no write.  In an ultimate display of laziness I’ve been spouting off little one-liners now and then on Facebook, and neglecting this here blog.  The blog I have lovingly curated and spent so much time documenting my idiocy!  Such a shame.  Here’s what’s been shakin’ in the world o’ CKD:

• My dad developed quite the impressive pressure sore last year and by Christmas he was on bed rest.  Sadly, the wound was infected and he underwent surgery two weeks ago to repair damage to the bone and surrounding tissue.  He’s doing great – better than expected – physically but dude is going on two months of being stuck indoors and the crankiness is rearing its ugly, snippy head.  Considering he’s been a quad for over 30 years (holy shit) and this is his first sore, he’s pretty lucky, really.  Also: sorry to start this post off with a description of sores, but you should really know by now to expect the unexpected.
• As mentioned in my previous post, my wee Bubba had a birthday and I helped chaperone his sleepover.  It was not as chaotic as I thought, but definitely louder than I could have ever imagined, if that makes sense.  Also: four first graders made fun of me for not being able to dunk, but guess who can drive a car and buy her own beer, boys?  THIS MOI.  Anyway, pretty sure those kids set a world record for most times “wiener” and “fart” were screamed in one night so basically I was completely in my element.
• I turned 35 last week with minimal gnashing of teeth and rending of garments but man.  I feel like I should have a kid or a better handle on my career or ability to mask my utter delight when someone says “balls” or something.  In an effort to show more gratitude I DID send my mom an email apologizing for the episiotomy, which seems like the polite thing to do when you literally rip someone a new one.  The sweet moment may have been lost, though, when I later compared her parenting style to Darth Vader’s.
• Ed and my family spoiled the hell out of me and I received three different gorgeous bouquets of flowers at work.  It was a lovely surprise and a source of great “WTFness?” mixed with amusement when an incredulous co-worker exclaimed “I can’t believe this many people actually care about you!”  BITCH YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.
• I am truly, legit bummed about 30 Rock ending.  In honor of Liz Lemon and all she gave to me I’ve been working on my night cheese.

So, those are the highlights, which is sad, but when has that ever stopped me from rambling on?

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