What’s Even More Shocking? I’m Really a Coke Person
Last weekend my sister-in-law and I had a nice little bonding day of shopping for my father-in-law, who’s now home and recuperating from hip surgery. After running errands downtown and then hitting up Target on a Saturday afternoon we pushed on to my personal Everest: Costco.
We breezed through that joint as much as two people can on a busy Saturday and rewarded ourselves with a Pepsi (for me) and a soft-serve swirl (for her). My poor sister-in-law hurt her back/neck (seriously, what is with this family – we’re all a hot mess with broken bones, hip replacements, and fucked-up vertebrae) so I unloaded the cart while she started up the car and A/C and put my purse on my seat. Upon finishing, I reached for my Pepsi. WHICH WASN’T THERE.
“WHERE IS THE SODA?” I shouted.
“We didn’t get any. We were going to get that at Safeway.”
“NO! WHERE IS MY SODA? THE ONE I WAS DRINKING! WHO TOOK IT?” I demanded in a panicked tone normally reserved for actresses in a Lifetime movie about a missing child. Eyes wide with indignation, I swung around, looking for someone walking away with what had quickly gone from a little treat to my most prized possession. MY PRECIOUS.
“I put it in the car! It’s OK!” My sister-in-law responded, alarmed at the fact that I had almost overturned a shopping cart in a crowded parking lot. People were now looking at us.
“Oh, thanks! Heh, I thought someone took it. I’m…I’m OK now.”
I relayed this story to my mom. Her response?
“I thought you weren’t drinking soda anymore. It’s really bad for you, you know.”