Eye of the Tiger

Pro Tip: Always take a buddy with you when shopping for a sports bra.  There is no worse feeling than being stuck, arms above your head all tangled in spandex with a nearly-dislocated shoulder, in a dressing room and wondering which option is the least horrible:

  • Calling your mom to meet you at the store and cut you out of the fucking death trap.
  • Putting it back on as best you can, declaring that you love it, and wearing it out of the store.
  • Asking the very sweet salesgirl to come help you NOPE NOT HAPPENING THAT POOR GIRL DOES NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO DEAL WITH A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN’S BOOBS.

I managed to dislodge myself without having to cry out, “I need an adult” but it wasn’t my finest half hour.  I also worked up quite a sweat so instead of running today I think I’ll just dive into a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Please tell me this will be the least dignified thing that happens to me in relation to this stupid 5k.

7 thoughts on “Eye of the Tiger

  1. I ran one and didn’t realize my iPod’s external speaker was on for the whole race. About 300 people were treated to my eclectic, outdated taste in music. I realized this when I crossed the finished line, pulled out my earbuds and thought it a strange coincidence that someone’s radio also happened to be playing Welcome to the Jungle.

    • The fact that Welcome to the Jungle is on your play list? Welcome to my world, friend. I did scream “HELL YEAH MIMOSAS!” at some strangers near the finish line who were kindly shouting encouragement and cheering on runners. Being dignified is so underrated.

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