Are you there, God? I’m a Freaking Wreck

I’m really OK with most aspects of being single. Going to weddings alone is fine; you don’t bring a sandwich to a buffet. I come and go as I please and have vacation plans keeping me busy through 2010. But right about now it would be awesome to have someone around to bring me Advil, water and a heating pad. Not to mention perform other, um… services that help with cramps. Don’t even suggest hiring an escort for this. It’s like paying a hooker to hold you and I haven’t reached that level of desperation.

At the risk of regressing to junior high, I’m about five minutes away from writing myself a note to get out of work due to “lady problems” so I can go home and curse womanhood.

Weird thing is, I also want chocolate. Yeah, you heard me.

At least I’m not like this:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10234/saturday-night-live-annuale

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Are you there, God? I’m a Freaking Wreck

  1. I was just telling a co-worker who mentioned not liking chocolate that I knew someone else who didn’t like chocolate! Apparently that affliction can temporarily be allieviated!!

    Have you ever tried acupuncture for cramps? I swear it works!

  2. The not-loving chocolate thing is genetic on my dad’s side. But I do find myself enjoying brownies more these days. Fascinating!

    Yes, I have tried it but I think it’s time to go back in for some maintenance. It got so bad I went home earlier. Ugh. I’ll get myself a fainting couch this weekend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s