Working on Our Listening Skills

This morning I found myself singing along to “Funky Cold Medina” on the radio and it hit me: this song is totally about roofies. A love potion for the ladies? Um, thanks Tone Loc for advocating the use of date rape drugs.

I loved this song when I was 11 and now it’s a little disconcerting to realize I listened to it in the car on the way to school all the time. Were my parents that tuned out that they didn’t catch on? Apparently.

If you’ll excuse me I need to go listen to my old New Kids on the Block tapes and figure out what “Hangin’ Tough” was really all about.


6 thoughts on “Working on Our Listening Skills

  1. Dear CKD:

    YOU need to put on YOUR “LISTENING EARS”!!!…First of all… HE took the “Love Potion”…like an aphrodisiac oysters/ chocolate/ viagra etc. THEN ALL THE LADIES WANTED TO GET WITH HIM!!!
    Put on your listening ears or just read the lyrics…PS. You owe Tone Loc an apology for even suggesting he would endorse that … How ignorant of you…Get the facts and Get it Right!!

    Hey CKD….Can you read????????????

    Alright, dig it
    [ VERSE 1 ]
    Cold coolin at a bar, and I’m lookin for some action
    But like Mike Jagger said, I can’t get no satisfaction
    The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
    My threads are fresh and I’m lookin def, yo, what’s up with L-o-c?
    The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
    Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I’m the star
    So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
    I asked the guy, “Why you so fly?” he said, “Funky Cold Medina”

    Funky Cold Medina

    [ VERSE 2 ]
    This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
    Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls’ll come real quick
    It’s better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
    A couple of sips of this love potion, and she’ll be on your lap
    So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
    Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
    He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
    But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

    You know what I’m sayin?
    I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
    I got Spuds McKenzie
    Alex from Stroh’s
    They won’t leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

    [ VERSE 3 ]
    I went up to this girl, she said, “Hi, my name is Sheena”
    I thought she’d be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
    She said, “I’d like a drink,” I said, “Ehm – ok, I’ll go get it”
    Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
    So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
    But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
    So I threw him out, I don’t fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
    You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

    You know, ain’t no plans with a man
    This is the 80’s, and I’m down with the ladies
    Ya know?

    Break it down

    [ VERSE 4 ]
    Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
    I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_
    The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
    I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
    She had a few drinks, I’m thinkin soon what I’ll be gettin
    Instead she started talkin ’bout plans for our weddin
    I said, “Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I’ll be seein ya”
    That’s why I found you don’t play around with the Funky Cold Medina

    Ya know what I’m sayin
    That Medina’s a monster, y’all

  2. Easy brownie…..we all make mistakes. Thanks for clearing that up….Im a fan of both Tone and CKD. BTW…where can I get some of the stuff? : )

  3. CKD:

    You really need to get out more….it’s called where you can find lyrics to any song….after reading your crap I went to so I could educate you a little…. No…I did NOT have the lyrics in my back pocket…It’s called “The Internet”…you can find anything on there …Including “Listening ears”!…for those who REALLY need them????????????????.

  4. This is freakishly coincidental but today while at Camp As Sayliyah in Qatar on TDY, I was packing for the trip back to Baghdad when the videos for “Funky Cold Medina” and “Hangin’ Tough” played in sequence on VH1 Europe during an 80s Mix section.

  5. actually, i think i’m with CKD on this one. he gives it to his dog and the dog starts humping loc’s leg…

    sheena comes over, he gives her some medina and they go home together… and he feeds it to his love connection date too! it’s totally roofies.

    there’s only that one reference to loc drinking the medina himself, and that one’s a little ambiguous…

    stay away, CKD!!

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