And the Yogurt Hits Keep on Comin’…

There has been a request for another Crazy Little CKD Loses Her Mind Over Something Stupid and this one is also food-related. In fact, it’s another story of Dave messing with my yogurt.

When the yogurt supply got low, I would go into a bit of a panic. See, I had some issues with food and control and being crazy. You know how it goes.

Anyway, I knew I was down to one yogurt and went about my little OCD morning routine. I reached for my snack, calling out to my mom and Dave that it was time for a trip to the store before my head exploded or whatever.

I open up the yogurt and my not-fully-awake-brain doesn’t quite grasp what is in the container at first. Because it sure as hell isn’t yogurt.

It’s a KOOSH BALL. Remember those? Well, I had one and apparently someone who shall remain Dave thought it would be funny to scoop out my yogurt, replace it with a Koosh Ball (so I wouldn’t be able to tell at first that the container was empty) AND a post-it note with a picture of a clown on it. Why a clown? Because they are fucking horrifying, that’s why.

For those of you keeping score at home, Dave is 30-ish at this point in his life, and I am but a wee, high-strung girl of maybe 9 or 10. And HE is the one pulling this crap. I think you know how the story goes: much shrieking, stomping, yelling for my mother to DO SOMETHING before Dave relented and revealed he had simply scooped out the yogurt and it was ready to eat. But of course I freaked out again because it wasn’t IN THE PROPER CONTAINER and I was convinced he had tampered with it.

Next week…Cabbage Patch dolls are caught in the crossfire in a battle of wills.


6 thoughts on “And the Yogurt Hits Keep on Comin’…

  1. ok gotta love Uncle Dave…If it would make you feel better my father spearheaded a boxing match Ryan Michael V. Sean RObert. As we all know RYan is a shit talker so Dad decided to put all the shit talking to an end. with boxing gloves we all gathered in the front yard for 3 1 minute rounds…Sean whooped Ryan in 1 minute and 32 seconds. It was oh so sweet and oh so white trash!

  2. Oh, I love how the Ruiz men use their fists to communicate! Mom will never forget the first time she met the fam and Uncle Tom was going to make a fist pack to hit your dad. I think Grandma heard the commotion and threatened to wake Grandpa.

    When the hell did this smackdown happen? That’s so fantastically white trash.

  3. I LOVE the part about the clown picture. I would have flipped the fuck out, too, because clowns ARE horrifying. But I have to admit, that’s pretty clever of Dave. Pretty damn clever.

    P.S. When I commented yesterday, the word verification was “ganga.” That’s just a little too close to “ganja.” I laughed out loud.

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