I’ll Have the Venti None of Your Damn Business

While in line at Starbucks* I was looking at an adorable little girl in a rad lime green stroller. Apparently my admiration for her smiley cuteness and awesome red hair (oh, how I wish my hair had retained that perfect redness into adulthood!) did not go unnoticed by the guy behind me.

Scruffy Older Dude: *Gestures toward little girl* “So, where’s yours?”

Me: “Um, what? Oh! Yeah, no… I, uh…I don’t have one of those.” (Really? “One of those?” Like the child is an iPod?)

Scruffy: “Why not?”

Me: *Laughing nervously* “Oh, you know… Um, I don’t know. Haven’t, uh, gotten around to it.” (Because having a kid is much like getting the oil changed in my car: it’s time, just haven’t “gotten to it” yet.)

Scruffy: “Oh, that’s OK. Wait until you’re older. You’ll be more patient and treat them better.”

Me: *Nods head vigorously* “Yeah. Totally.” (Yes, make sure you take advice from this guy. He seems really on the ball.)

Mercifully, it was at this point that I was able to place my order and fade into the crowd of people waiting for drinks. I started to wonder when my parenthood status became an acceptable topic of conversation with a stranger. The weather is unseasonably warm – can’t we just talk about that? Or the fact that pumpkin lattes are delicious? Anything?

I never thought I’d welcome someone trying to talk to me about accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior.

*Yes, I went to Starbucks. Not a lot of walking distance options in Pacifica. Back off.


4 thoughts on “I’ll Have the Venti None of Your Damn Business

  1. honestly, my first thought was: ‘really, Starbucks? where’s the loyalty to our ol’ pal Pete?’
    and second thought was:….oh, there was no second thought I guess…milk brain..:)

  2. No Peet’s in Pacifica! And I wanted to walk over quickly, which means Starbucks in that ‘hood. I actually emailed Peet’s Coffee headquarters begging them to open one. Hi, Geek.

  3. i was so totally gonna go for a Starbucks comment like juno’s but they beat me to it! damn. i gotta watch your blog more closely.

    but i love that there are so many watchdogs on top of your spending choices 😉

    as for the baby thing, i’ll tell you what i tell my other attractive female friends – guys who want to talk to you will latch on to anything they can (“I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed…”).

    also, asking questions about your breeding status is an excellent way to determine your availability!

    Men Are Dogs, people. even old scruffy ones. especially old scruffy ones. except me.

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