South Beach Diet: Not Making Me Homicidal, Surprisingly

Shocker: I hate being told what to do. This is a reason I am no good at “diets” and gained weight on Weight Watchers (30 points a day? Fuck you, I’m gonna eat 31.). Plus, the idea that eating an assload of bacon is OK but a salad is evil just seems idiotic.

This may be why I am not losing my shit over the South Beach Diet.

Without boring you, let me just say that it’s not about anything being bad or forbidden forever and ever. I’m basically eating everything I like and would normally have. There are some minor modifications, like no bread with dinner and I’m not having pasta five times a week. Yes, I loves me some pasta and I miss it a little, but a little variety and eating more protein isn’t killing me. Oh, and I can still have my morning coffee. I’m supposed to be abstaining from booze for two weeks, but I may have had a glass of wine with dinner. Shut up, I had, like, 2 drinks total from Christmas through New Year’s.

Is anyone else cracking up over the fact that I am talking about diets and balanced meals? The girl who has spent much of her life with cookie crumbs on her shirt and Dorito fingers IS TALKING ABOUT GETTING ENOUGH PROTEIN. Take a moment to laugh. I did. And don’t worry, I’m not saying YOU should do this, or that this is for everyone, but I knew I needed to make some changes and I’m excited that I already feel (look?) better. Also, I solemnly vow in front of God and the Interweb that I will not be one of those people who talks about her “diet” or refuses to eat out or enjoy a dinner party. I hate those people, don’t you?


2 thoughts on “South Beach Diet: Not Making Me Homicidal, Surprisingly

  1. I did the Diet a couple of years ago and it worked. No bread, fruit or potatoes for the first couple of weeks killed me at first but I got used to it. Toughest part…. maintaining the lifestyle.
    I have since gone back on it..modified but realize that one must commit to it or it wont work.
    Once I get over my cold…I think Im starting back up. Right now I have no desire to eat anyway. Good luck….keep with it.

  2. It’s not easy, and I will admit to a couple of moments of eating something I shouldn’t, which is scary since it’s more out of (a bad) habit than caving to temptation. I was on autopilot and now I’m actually thinking about taking care of myself. Good luck getting back on track, and hope you feel better soon!

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