It’s the 2009 edition of “Being Sick is for Crap” so settle on in for some bitching and moaning because OH MY GOD I HATE HATE HATE BEING SICK.
You know that stereotype that men are the worst when it comes to illness? All helpless and baby-like? Well, I challenge all the males of the world to a showdown in that department. Something about sleep deprivation coupled with an inability to breathe brings out my most charming qualities: self-pity mixed with exhaustion and hint of “fuck-off-no-not-really-can-you-get-me-some-soup-please-don’t-leave-meeeeee.” I’m hungry, but I don’t know what I want. I’m thirsty, but I don’t want water, juice or tea, damn it. I’m tired but can’t relax and get to sleep. It’s adorable, really.
The weather is most definitely conducive to a day of staying inside under a blanket. At the same time, the weather is depressing me because if I’m sick on a nice day, I somehow muster the energy to face the world and that seems to help my mental health, if not the physical. If you have any hints on feeling better in a hurry, please send them my way. Along with some soup. And an US magazine, if it’s not too much trouble. Thanks.
I think the only thing that can help me is a hot toddy and a pedicure. Ladies?