Cocktail hour at The Club (say this like Thurston Howell for maximum effect). CKD threw on her pashmina since she seemed to pack only black clothing and looked like Morticia Fucking Addams. Seriously, it can’t be good when your father, who owns 836 plaid button down shirts, stages a little intervention about the amount of black in your wardrobe.
Juno being hilarious. We should have cut her off after the second drink, but she was all, “DUDE! I can handle it! I’m on vacation…back down.”
Holding this kid sets my ovaries to “function mode” or something. She never fusses, loves my dancing (I mean, who DOESN’T, right? But she is clearly advanced.) and even when she spit up on me she leaned over so most of it hit the floor. Where do I get one?
No, Dad, I DID NOT make the baby sing “All the Single Ladies” and we DID NOT do the dance routine from the video and I most certainly DID NOT swear in front of him. Why do you ask?
A few people have asked about the Blondie concert and all I can say is that the bitch kicks some ASS. I want to be like her when I grow up. And I think the entire gay population of Butte County was at the show; it was nice to meet the six of you. I wasn’t great about taking pictures, and the ones I do have are just scary. CKD may have gone a little crazy with the Maybelline Superstay and may have looked a little crazy with her new dark hair, pasty-ass skin and RED lips. Just trust me on this one, OK?