Guess which of these things I DID NOT do over the course of the last week:
-Told a bouncer “You’re fucking joking, right?” when asked for my ID at a 21 and over establishment.
-Honestly forgot it was Lent and ordered a Pepsi when going through the Taco Bell drive-thru.
-Got exceedingly, embarrassingly excited when some high school boy gave me the “Hey Now!” nod and up-and-down.
-Felt superior to those around me when I knew Freddy Washington’s nickname was “Boom Boom.”
-Wished my nickname was “Boom Boom.”
-Pointed and laughed at Katie when she stumbled in public.
-Drank too much sake.
-Acted my goddamn age.