Hey You Kids! Get Off My Lawn!

In reality, I guess I should ask them to quit skateboarding in front of my house and making out in my driveway, but you get the picture.

Upon arriving home tonight, I saw that some boards were blocking my access to my driveway. As in, I could not park my truck where I park it every fucking day. My teenage neighbor was sitting between his family’s driveway and mine with some girl, as I gave him the “Hey, would you be a dear and move your shit outta my way so I can park? Thanks bunches” look. He looked at me, then the boards (which are really pathetic and in no way constitute some sort of homemade bitchin’ skate park and if this girl is impressed by his “stunts” then she deserves to be with the dumbshit), and continued to sit there and be as useless as tits on a frog. Let me repeat this: HE SAT THERE AND DID NOTHING TO REMOVE THE OBJECT AND BE A HALFWAY DECENT HUMAN BEING WITH ANY REGARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHO NEED TO EXIST AROUND HIM. I knew that if I rolled down my window and asked him to do this, I would not be able to contain my ire, so I just parked on the street.

As I got out of my car, Tony Hawk offered a lame, “Sorry about that” and continued the strenuous activiy of sitting on his skinny ass while his little girlfriend breathed through her mouth. “It’s cool. You’re busy.” I answered and marched myself into the house quickly while I was able to resist the urge to hurl the boards at their heads.

So, how was your day?


3 thoughts on “Hey You Kids! Get Off My Lawn!

  1. Wait you drive a truck? I would vote for just running their boards over… but that’s just me.

    PS. This post should really be entitled “Hey You Kids! Get Off My Lawn! Part IV.” Maybe it should just be a reacquiring segment. 😉

  2. Yes, but it’s not the badass truck of my dreams. It really occurred to me to run them over but I am trying to take the high road here. And, you know, spewing my venom all over the Interweb.

    Oh, trust me, I thought about that! It really should be an ongoing segment.

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