Alternate Title: I Set the Bar Nice and Low So Evan Will Easily Be Declared “Favorite Child”
Days until Dad, Judy and Evan arrive for Easter weekend: 1
Minutes spent preparing for said visit: 0
Festive Easter decorations and accoutrements acquired for Evan: 0
Reservations made for Easter brunch: You’re fucking joking, right?
Minutes spent thinking about Mark Harmon and/or dancing with Kevin Bacon: Lost count somewhere around a jabillion
Really, I am an adult with a job and a background in event planning and yet the idea of my parents and brother arriving for Easter sends me into total freak the fuck out mode and I find myself wandering the aisles of Target in a state of PANIC because I can’t find the Right Candy. (It also causes me to write really long sentences, apparently.) I feel like a basket with a stuffed animal, some candy and eggs hidden around the yard should be enough. Is it? Am I missing some key component to the holiday? Aside from reflecting on Jesus dying for the sins of mankind. I’ve got that one under control. Should I get some mini-quiches?
Part of the reason for the freak out is the shitty weather. Roughly 99% of the activities I had planned for the entire trip revolved around being comfortable outdoors and I am not doing well with the contingency planning. Sissy may be packing a flask and hauling the gang to Chuck E Cheese. Hold me.
Send help. And vodka.