And THIS Is Why I Always Have Purell with Me

I dedicate this post to the ladies of LLD and Boy Chris.  Our crimes against the Betas have been avenged.



The Scene: a quiet suburban street in Chico, just a block away from an elementary school. 


The Players: CKD and EJ on the way to a graduation party.


EJ: “Whoa, I think that was a purse in the street.”


CKD: “Pull over.  Someone might have lost it.  If there’s a phone or ID we can turn it into the cops.”


EJ: “Really?  You can do that?” *Turns around to retrieve purse*


CKD: “Yep.  It’s the right thing to do and it’s good karma.”


*CKD jumps out of truck, picks up purse as a guy driving by yells out jokingly, “Hey, I think you found my purse haha.”  CKD gets back in truck, EJ continues toward party.


CKD: “OHMYGOD.  This purse is full of shit.”


EJ: “What kind of junk?”


CKD: “NO! It’s SHIT.  Like, DOG SHIT.  Stop the car!”  *Throws purse out the window into the bushes, retrieves Purell from her own non-shit filled purse, proceeds to cover self.  Starts laughing maniacally.

“Well, so much for good karma.”


EJ: “You know someone’s in the bushes cracking up.”


CKD: “Oh yeah.  Good one, universe.”


7 thoughts on “And THIS Is Why I Always Have Purell with Me

  1. ohmigod my eyes are watering and i almost peed my pants. you definitely made some teenage boys’ day! this is what happens to us when we grow up in chico, there is nothing to do so we must create our own fun or get the heck out of there 🙂

  2. Well, I was WITH the dude in the truck, but the guy who drove by? Possibly. That thought crossed my mind. Although he was kind of old…but then again, Dave would enjoy a good poop prank so you never know.

  3. @ Jules: Yeah, it was a harmless prank but DUDE. Chico needs some exciting activities for its youth.

    @Cece: OMG karma kicked me in the face. And if you find this on YouTube, please send it my way.

  4. HAHAHAHAHA! That’s hilarious. And horrible. Hilariously horrible. My neighbors are talking about leaving shit-filled boxes on their doorsteps for the thieves who like to steal UPS packages.

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