An actual, for-reals email that showed up in my work inbox:
If anyone would like a starter batch of batter for Amish Friendship bread, please let me know! I have a couple of batches here with me today and will be happy to share.
Now, Lord knows I love me some carbs so when I saw “bread” I was like, “Fuck yeah! Sign me UP!” But something about bread with the word “Amish” in it makes me think this stuff will be difficult to make (like I’ll need to churn the butter instead of softening it in the microwave or else it won’t work). Plus, I’ll probably lose concentration because I’ll start thinking about the fact that it’s Amish bread, which will lead me to thinking about Harrison Ford, and then I’ll get mad that he’s engaged to Ally McBeal and the bread will turn into Amish Pissed-Off bread and, well, I don’t need to tell you that it won’t be as delicious.
But getting down to another, more pressing question: is pimping bread batter at work something unique to where I live, or are you all getting similar emails at work?