I Opened a Bottle of Champagne with a Huge-Ass Knife. What Did You Do This Weekend?

Want to know if your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is a winner?  Utter the sentence, “I can open this champagne with a sword.  Wanna see?”  If he (or she) answers, “Let me get my camera” you have a keeper on your hands.  Either that or the one beer you each had has already affected your judgment.  Also, it helps if the other person thinks you have done this before.  Which I, uh, had not.  Guess my buzzed bravado inspires confidence.  Good to know.

Booze?  Check.  Knife?  Check.  Crazy eyes?  Oh hellz yeah.
Doesn't this young lady inspire confidence in you? Booze? Check. Knife? Check. Crazy eyes? Oh, please, don't cut me.

 

Since there weren’t any swords lying around the kitchen, I used a big-ass chef’s knife and the effect was pretty much the same: the top of the bottle went flying off into a corner of the yard.  I freaked out for a moment and thought there might be shards of glass everywhere, but nope.  Nice clean cut.  Sharp edges and we were committed to finishing the bottle (see part of story where the top comes right off) but as experienced day drinkers, we were up for the challenge.

 

Decent form, if a bit spazzmatic.  The key is a swift motion, no hesitation.
Decent form, if a bit spazzmatic. The key is a swift motion, no hesitation.

 

OMFG it worked!  Have you ever seen such sheer joy?  Such is my love of mimosas.
OMFG it worked! Have you ever seen such sheer joy? Such is my love of mimosas.

 

I’m not entirely sure if this has earned me a blackbelt in drinking, or just means I am more likely to lose a finger trying to be a badass at parties.

 

Never doubt mighty CKD and her knife of glory!
Never doubt mighty CKD and her knife of glory!
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8 thoughts on “I Opened a Bottle of Champagne with a Huge-Ass Knife. What Did You Do This Weekend?

  1. Truly, you are incredibly badass 😀

    The Safety & Paranoia Committee is very glad that you were wearing protective eyewear 😉

    was the man impressed?

  2. Aw, thanks Alex! Coming from a badass like you that means a great deal!

    The man was impressed, yes. As well he should be. I’m kind of a big deal.

    Dress is from Target. LOVE that place.

  3. I love opening Champagne with a Sabre, what fun! Now I have a wedding gift idea for you! We have something in common after all (all that lip gloss and fashionista talk – blech!) he he he. Love you girlie!

  4. What is with this talk of wedding gifts? You are crazy. Just for that, I am doing a week of posts devoted to lip gloss and dresses. Take THAT! Love you too.

  5. You’re right on when you write that your guy is a winner! :0) Any guy who thinks you’re awesome just the way you are (thanks, Bridget Jones!) is the right guy for you. And one that not only loves you just the way you are, but wants to photograph your quirky behavior for perpetuity just because he adores you that much?!? KEEPER!

  6. And he was just as excited to watch “Caprica” with me and discuss the socio-political-cultural differences among the various colonies. Basically, he’s down with my nerdiness, too.

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