Saturday Night’s Alright for Embarrassing Self-Discovery

Ed is in Vegas for a Boys’ Weekend* so I’m house and Molly-sitting all by myself.  I haven’t lived alone in roughly two years and as much as I love and adore my family and Ed I had kind of forgotten how much I enjoyed living alone.  But I think the past couple of days have proven that CKD Cannot Have Nice Things, Nor Should She Be Left Alone Without Adult Supervision.

Realizations that have come to light since left to my own devices:

  • I will drink a whole pot of coffee and not eat anything, turning me into something resembling a hyperactive monkey coming off a three-day crank bender.
  • I will watch 17 Again, starring Zac Efron.  I will do this in a manner completely devoid of irony and mockery.  I will tell tell myself it’s because Matthew Perry and Thomas Lennon are in it.  I will admit to myself that’s a big fat fucking LIE.
  • I will develop a crush on Zac Efron, obsessively Googling him and watching this scene in 17 Again.  I will LOSE MY SHIT when he takes off his sunglasses.  I will be relieved upon discovery that he is 22 and there will be no Amber Alert issued.
  • I will text Boy Chris about all of this, since he is really good at talking me down from The Crazy.  He will declare that I am “dead” to him.
  • I will eat the crappiest of meals, usually on the bed.  Tonight’s menu: macaroni and cheese AND mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC.  I will wash this down with hard cider.  Because, you know, I wouldn’t want to break my Lenten resolution and have a Coke.
  • I will fall asleep earlier than most third graders.
  • I will play music much louder than anyone over the age of 19 ever would or should.  I will dance around the house and sing along and do weird half-assed high kicks.

This weekend’s playlist includes:

Wanna Take You Higher – Sly and the Family Stone

Dreams – Brandi Carlile

The Underdog – Spoon

Mr Blue Sky – ELO

You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

*People give me a raised eyebrow look when I mention this, like he and his friends are reenacting The Hangover.  Hardly.  They are going to NASCAR races.  At best he’ll meet a woman with a mullet.  I am not terribly concerned.

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2 thoughts on “Saturday Night’s Alright for Embarrassing Self-Discovery

  1. Yes, I said that you were dead to me, but I did also ask if you if I should also call A&E because a new season of Intervention is quickly approaching.

    • True, true. I wonder what the Intervention people would even say. “Sorry, there is no course of treatment for Stupid.”

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