Blowing Through That Case of Wine at Warp Speed

The Great Tablecloth Crisis of ’10 has been resolved, so you can all relax now.  Now we just need to figure out how to fit all of these people in the damn house to eat since my dad called on Tuesday and announced they decided to drive up after all!  I mean, the last time we talked about it OH PROBABLY A MONTH AGO our weekend was open so no problem, right?  This is where I broke out into a Tourrette’s-like fit because things were out of my control-freaky hands for a moment and why didn’t I see this coming?  Don’t get me wrong.  I am thrilled to have the entire family together and Bubba is great fun but we now have 9 adults, 2 teenagers and a 4 year-old to feed and entertain in a very small dining-living area.  To make things extra super special fun there’s a storm coming through this weekend so we’ll all be stuck inside the house at all times.  Cozy!  A trip to the store to pick up a card table is in our immediate future.  We have abandoned plans to make a centerpiece because that time is now being spent a.) freaking out and b.) self-medicating with booze.  Seriously, Cadbury: please get to work on Xanax filled eggs. 

Not only is this the first time Ed and I are hosting a family gathering/holiday meal but this will be the first time our respective parents and siblings meet.  Part of me wonders if this is just going to be a big ol’ cluster and part of me figures, “Eh, fuck it.  Let’s just throw them all in the same room and get this over with.” 

So, if you don’t have any plans for Easter come on over!  What’s one or two or eight more people at this point?  HAHAHAHA<DIES>.


9 thoughts on “Blowing Through That Case of Wine at Warp Speed

    • It’s also my FB status update because someone said it was funny and therefore I feel compelled to repeat the joke since I am 5. But thanks 🙂

  1. If I lived closer, I’d let you borrow the card table that is conveniently also serves as the trunk floor in my Honda CR-V. I’d like to meet the person that came up with that flash of brilliance/randomness.

    P.S. I second the Xanax-filled Cadbury eggs. My preference would be the hard-shelled mini eggs, but I’d down a goo-filled egg too. I’m not picky when it comes to self-medication.

    • Oh Cece, if you came over we’d be mixing Jungle Juice in a garbage can and dancing to Biggie ON the table. Good times!

  2. You’ll do fantastic!! I wound up hosting Thanksgiving for 18 one year in vet school. It started as a small group of 6, but since we were on various rotations, people were on call and couldn’t go to their families, my little gathering gradually grew. And grew. And grew. So it became semi-potluck. I supplied the biggies (turkey, Honeybaked ham, mashed potatoes, and stuffing), but shelled out everything else (including booze!) Turned out great! People sat on the floor, on the arm of the couch, etc. But everyone had a blast. And someone else even did the dishes!!

    So don’t panic. It’ll all work out. And start delegating. 🙂

    • Aw, thanks Katie! We weren’t shy about accepting offers to bring things so it feels less overwhelming now. We’re both trying to make sure all of the various family traditions are recognized and Bubba has fun since he’ll be the only kid and he is all over the Easter Bunny action. You’re such an amazing hostess I’m sure your super-sized Thanksgiving was awesome! Ed is a rock star and came home after work with a ton of groceries, the ham has been procured, and the new card table is set up. So already there’s a sense of accomplishment. 🙂

  3. Sounds like fun! What time should Duane and I arrive?

    In college I went to a freind’s house for Easter and since it was Softball season, 90% of the team was there along with all her family (cousins included). My friend’s parents did a really great egg hunt for ALL! There were some rules, considerng she was dealing with adults, very competitiave college students, teenager and children alike. They filled plastic eggs with candies, lottery tickets, and one had a $100 bill. We all were allowed to collect 3 eggs and then we had to open them all at once. (I think that the eggs were taped shut so we could not cheat). In addition, there was one egg out there that had our name on it, that we had to find. The hunt was fun for everyone, as some eggs were easy to find and for the older kids our “name eggs” were challenging. mine was literally dug underground (and completely covered) and one was in the top of the gutter, etc. It was lots of fun (obviously, if I ACTUALLY REMEMBER IT) and took lots of time. Of course, if it is raining you are kind of limited, but we did this in Seattle, so anything is possible.

    I’m sure your Easter will be great!

    • We’re eating between noon and 1 🙂 Bring the dogs – Bella and Molly will be there too!

      That sounds like an awesome Easter party! I’m hoping the rain will let up a little bit on Sunday but if not my mom is fully prepared to hide eggs inside for Bubba. They are buddies and last year they played “hot-and-cold” with the eggs.

      Have a lovely weekend! Miss you guys!

      • Great! A nigh energy 8 month old puppy will be a great addition. You won’t even know he is there. I promise….

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