On My Life To Do List: Stop Letting Others Harsh My Buzz

On Saturday I went to a wedding reception for a dear family friend and his new bride.  I did not do The Elaine Dance.  We call this “growth.”

Ed is still on this epic ass-ache business trip so I went with my parents, which just gave the whole thing a Miss Havisham-air of pathetic.  I thought about taking a cue from Liz Lemon and “lean into it” by bringing a cat in a stroller.  Did I mention that the bride and groom are several years younger?  And already expecting?  Are we all seeing where this is going?

Word of my betrothal has spread and a lot of acquaintances came over to congratulate…us…only it was just me.  Sitting in between my parents.  “No, really!  I have a fiance!  He just goes to another school!  In Canada!”  There were a lot of sleptical looks thrown my way.  A lot of questions about Ed being gone on a weekend business trip.  I may have mumbled something about him belonging to Graphic Designers Without Borders and helping teach children in third world countries about PhotoShop.  I don’t know.  There was wine.

There also seem to be a lot of opinions on my whole name thing.*  Apparently my last name is inherently awful and I should be welcoming the opportunity to change it to [Ed’s last name] which is much more desirable (read: easier to spell or not ethnic sounding or something).  It’s a perfectly lovely name – I think both of our names are nice – but I’m at peace with my choice to keep my name while adding his.  And maybe even re-visit this topic down the road and go straight-up [Ed’s last name] because guess what?  It’s my fucking business. 

I’m still trying to process all of the, “So when are you going to have A BAYBEE?” inquiries without inducing a nosebleed from a rage-stroke.  Since when did my uterus become polite party chi-chat?

And this, my friends, is why it’s good to have a dad who will just snag an entire bottle of wine from the bar and plop it down on the table.  And also why I am never going to one of these things alone ever again.  To my credit, I kept a smile on my face at all times and just rolled with it.  See: there was wine.

*My mother, bless her heart, leapt in with the defense that my married name sounds “really badass” and “like a pimp” and I swear I have never loved her more.


6 thoughts on “On My Life To Do List: Stop Letting Others Harsh My Buzz

  1. I hate going to weddings without my husband. I’ve been to three. Two involved sitting between my parents. Sooooo depressing when everyone is dancing and you are sitting there chugging your 85th glass of gin and tonic. The third involved being hit on by a groomsman. Which was flattering, but hello? MARRIED.

    And I can totally empathize about the baby thing. Just mind your own beeswax, people!

    • It’s weird, right? I mean, I’m not shy discussing these things with close friends in a private setting but random people I see once every 5 years at a gathering like this calling me out on my procreation plans? Um, hello definition of awkward!

  2. As sister of the ‘dear family friend’ I totally sympathize – hello, it was my family and I can just imagine which ones asked about the state of your uterus and if you were going to change your name. It is weird and they are weird and I just wish I could have been there to help – I don’t have to be as nice as you obviously were and could tell them to mind their own business, of which I know all the juicy gossip! Next time I’ll try and run interference for you – when there isn’t this big ass ocean between us 🙂

    • Oh Jules, I wish you had been there, too! I miss dancing with you!! It wasn’t ALL that terrible and no one was mean…I guess I was thrown off because the Questioners weren’t exactly people I see or talk to on any sort of regular basis and it was rather personal info. What happened to talking about the weather? Or at least talking shit about people’s outfits or something?

  3. So funny… I have a manic reaction to this post… half of me is like, “Yeah, shut the hell up, people!!” and half of me is like, “So, are you changing your name? And do you want kids?”

    Sigh. I think that because I had to suffer through all the questions (and still am), I feel entitled to ask. Maybe that’s everyone else’s problem, too.

    • I am hyphenating (which may also change, but I’m not *quite* ready to go full monty on the name change thing yet – ask me again in October!) and yes, we both want kids. See? I will tell people who know me in real life for longer than 5 seconds with zero hesitation!

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