You Can Dress Me Up But You Probably Shouldn’t Let Me Loose in a Room of Strangers

So.  The Reunion.  It was….fun?  Interesting?  Hangover inducing?  Yes, yes, and YES. 

The Friday night social at a local dive bar had me a bit worried.  Ed informed me it was “casual” yet I wanted to look nice without appearing to have made an effort.  He took one look at my ruffled Anthro top and white pants and sandals and said, “I’m not so sure how those pants are going to do at this place…I mean, it’s a pretty divey bar.”  I walked in fully expecting it to be like when Pee-Wee walked into the biker bar and saw that many of the attendees were in sundresses or WHITE PANTS so I fit in just fine, thank you very much.  I mean, some women were dressed like it was a casting call for MILF Island and Ed didn’t wear his Wrestlemania t-shirt but I think we looked alright.  Also, we put on a decent showing at Shuffleboard.  The End. 

OK, not really.  I also took advantage of people’s politeness and when a guy looked at me and said he was sorry, but he couldn’t remember my name* I decided to have some fun with him. 

“I can’t believe you don’t remember me.  I was the prom queen?  We shared a…you know…moment that night.  Are you serious right now?  You DON’T remember me?”  The guys eyes got so wide and panicked looking and his brother and Ed just stood there watching the train wreck.  I finally ‘fessed up and then tried to behave for the rest of the evening.  And by “try” I mean just kept drinking so that I wouldn’t be tempted to speak.

Saturday night was pretty fun; I made friends with a wife who didn’t know anyone there and didn’t dance or say anything too dumb, I hope.  Fielded lots of questions about if we are going to have kids, how many, how soon… My gyno does not ask this many questions about how I plan to use my uterus but hey, Corning High Class of 1990, have at it!  And then Ed let me wear his letterman jacket for a photo and I was totes cool, you guys, I mean OH MY GOD. 

And you know what else is fun?  Watching your fiance squirm and get grossed out when a bunch of former schoolmates confess to thinking his sister was a total hottie.  Heh.

*WTF?  I mean, REALLY.  I am SIX years younger than these people and this dude thought I was closer to 40 than 30?  Excuse me while I Google “botox and face lifts and just give me the Heidi treatment for fuck’s sake.”


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