I’m not going to lie: I’ve been struggling a little bit lately. Not in a dire, going-to-die way, but I definitely feel…I don’t know? Stressed isn’t quite right, and depressed isn’t it either. Down, I guess? I’m hungry but nothing sounds good, and I’m having a hard time eating much at once. I’m tired but I can’t sleep, so I take a Tylenol PM at 1am and at noon am still dragging ass. It occurs to me at 2pm that I haven’t eaten yet today. It’s an awesome cycle of hunger, exhaustion, lethargy. Lather, rinse, repeat, maybe throw in some guilt and worry to mix it up now and then. I’ve been shying away from writing about this because OMG HELLO DEBBIE DOWNER and who wants that? It isn’t a constant feeling, but it’s there and it hits me in the middle of something mundane or even fun. This feels beyond self-indulgent and flat-out dumb seeing as how my life is pretty awesome on many levels. And yet, I can’t shake this nagging feeling that I’m not doing enough, not being there for people who need me, ot asking too much from those around me.
I don’t really know where I’m going with all of this other than I think I just needed to get it off my chest and put it out there in the universe that I need a little help. It’s amazing how answers and relief become clear when you acknowledge an issue.
Or, you know, publish it on the goddamn Internet.