I’d Make a Joke About The Heat But I’m Too Damn Crabby

Summer is here, bitches.  Like, HERE WITH A FUCKING VENGEANCE.  I feel like Spring flew past us so fast.  What happened to that time where having dinner or drinks on the patio is enjoyable?  Hell…possible?  I guess we missed those couple of days.  Anyway, here’s what’s up as we say goodbye to this week.

  • I bought my shoes and underthings (of the decidedly unsexy, but highly functional, variety) so I will be neither barefoot nor commando at my own wedding.  I cannot tell you what a huge relief it is to have my outfit all figured out.  I tried my dress on again and it still fits, which is a huge relief.  I swear on a case of Summerfest I’ll up the water intake and maybe switch to lite beer.
  • I also bought some new tank tops, a skirt (on clearance, HOLLA) and sundress so that when my dead, dehydrated body is found I’ll look cute.  Yay me?
  • We’re headed out of town again and I followed my usual shove-everything-in-the-suitcase method since it worked so well last time.  I have gieven up on trying to be efficient or pack light and am embracing my natural state of spazzosity and bringing more than I need unless I just randomly decide to do midday costume changes.
  • I’m also packing a shit-ton of make-up and products since we’re visiting Ed’s sister and nieces to celebrate the baby’s 13th birthday.  She is now allowed to wear make-up so Aunt Christen is coming through with the goods.  The plan is to drink margaritas (just the adults, I mean) and teach her how to apply eyeshadow.  I might be doing these things simultaneously.  Seems like a bulletproof plan to me.
  • Finally saw Toy Story 3 and loved it.  At first the 3-D stuff was a little distracting and freaky for easily-startled CKD but then I got into it and THEN I almost lost my shit in a panic that THE TOYS WERE GOING TO DIE and then I was so relieved that the toys didn’t die (sorry if I ruined that for you) that I wasn’t all weepy like every other person on the planet said I would be.  I might be a robot.  But seriously you guys, the toys were in serious peril and I had barely come down from that and then Pixar throws another heartbreaking scene at you…  Jesus Christ, I think I need a Xanax just reliving it.

Have a lovely weekend, Interweb.  Stay cool like Fonzie.


2 thoughts on “I’d Make a Joke About The Heat But I’m Too Damn Crabby

  1. Good for you for getting functional underthings! I went the sexy and uncomfortable route for my wedding, but to tell you the truth, my brand new husband didn’t even, um, notice all the effort I’d put into buying the perfect pair of tiny lacy unmentionables.

    And I love the idea of mixing margaritas and eyeshadow application. Makeup always goes on better with some tequila.

    • I figure I’ll wear the slimming, non-sexy stuff for the photos and can always change into something non-grannyish for…later.

      We ended up doing the cosmetics lesson in the morning (pre-cocktail hour) so Amy could rock her new look all day, but when I helped her older sister I had a couple in me. They looked fine, though. I think. I don’t know… I fell asleep on the floor.

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