Issues: I Have Them

And yes, I have been woefully neglectful of this blog.  Does anyone read this thing anymore? 

Today’s rant brought to you by my commie pinko feminism.*

Issue the First: My job requires me to interact with the public a great deal, and lately I have encountered a sad phenomenon: grown-ass women who speak in baby voices.  To other grown-ass people.  To these women I say STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.  You sound insane and incompetent.  I am not moved to help you because you conjure up images of baby ducks.  I cannot take you seriously, and am frequently distracted by what you are saying because of the way you say it.  You’re an adult speaking to another adult: act the part.

Issue 2: Electric Boogaloo:  Why are people – in 2011 – still so shocked that a woman can be an attorney?  And not simply an attorney but an owner/partner in a thriving law firm?  Why do I have to frequently explain that one of our partners is not the other partner’s secretary/assistant/associate/bitch?  I am hoping it’s because our clientele tends to be older and more traditionally-minded (read: ignorant sexist assholes), and not a sad commentary on our society’s scary fall into 1950’s-style thinking.  Sometimes I like to blame the Kardashians.  Why?  Why NOT!

Issue #3: OK, not so much an issue as a fist pump for Tina Fey’s hilarious book Bossypants.  I read it in one sitting (something Ed found super-impressive, so I didn’t tell him that it had pictures because every now and then it’s nice to be The Smart One in the room) and startled the dog with my bursts of laughter.  It’s perfect airplane material (can be read in 6 hours, funny enough to distract you from the fact that you are hurtling through the sky in a tin fucking can), and a few friends have recommended the audio version for commutes (bonus: Tina Fey herself recorded it).  I suppose you could download it on your Kindle or Nook, but I am a Luddite who still goes to bookstores and reads books with paper like it’s 2009. 

 

Anyone else out there have something to rage about?  Go for it in the comments!

 

 

*Not really, but I imagine this is how my father-in-law would characterize me.  And while we’re at it, why aren’t I cooking something and birthing some grandsons?  It’s not like I do anything of value or importance!  (See, I told you I have issues.)

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