Not Like the Other Girls

Things Other People Seem to Love That I Don’t Get:

  • Engagement photos: I’ve seen some really nice, tasteful, normal ones and these aren’t the worst if you take a step back and go, “Hey, we have no sober pictures of the two of us.  Let’s fix that.”  But the overly contrived, matchy-outfit, stand-in-a-field-holding-hands shit?  I don’t get it.  Why so twee?  Just…get someone to take a photo where one of you isn’t smiling like Chandler. 
  • Declaring “I Want to Look Like a PRINCESS!” when dress shopping: For reals?  And you’re over the age of 11?  Interesting.  Tell me: does your fiance wear the same cologne as your dad? 
  • Pregnancy photos: Again with the oh-so-twee and precious stuff.  If I ever am pregnant and someone suggests a photo where Ed is cradling my stomach while we gaze into each other’s eyes?  Or worse:  HE’S KISSING MY BELLY?  No.  Do. Not. Want.  I might do it up Lemon style, just to fuck with people.
  • Overly dramatic gender reveals: Just fucking tell us what you’re having.  I mean really.  Do not try to sway me with “But there’s cake!” because I like cake but not when it’s used for evil.  People who do this probably got engaged via flash mob proposal that was uploaded to YouTube. 

Yes, I realize these are all wedding and baby related, and probably apply more to women than men, so I’ll understand if I need to turn in my ovaries.  And I’m also a huge hypocrite for judging people for being so wedding-baby-manic when I get annoyed that I am also judged for not fitting the mold.  I may be harsh but I’m not oblivious.


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