Alternate Title: Why Ed Shouldn’t Go to Sleep Before I Do Since I’ll Just End Up Cruising WebMD
A short list of things I Googled/decided I had after a leg cramp didn’t go away:
- Deep Vein Thrombosis
- Avian Bone Syndrome
- I’d like a really tasteful memorial but also there should be an open bar
- Well, at least I’m not going to die in a changing room trapped in a too-tight dress. Or chained to a wall in a sex dungeon.
The more logical reason(s):
- Tweaked something doing a lunge
- Got up from the floor kind of weird while holding my friend’s newborn
- Am old
- OK, Christen, go to sleep now
But seriously, I CAN FEEL THE CLOT MOVING TO MY LUNGS.