While I’m pretty proud of the fact that I am good about maintaining friendships over the course of my life (seriously: you cannot shake me) I know I need to work on initiating friendships in the first place. My overly trusting and eager nature has screwed me over in the past and I, despite having met many lovely people in my 20’s and 30’s, have some trust and rejection issues. When a potential new friend asks me to grab coffee my first instinct is to check the rafters for a bucket of pig’s blood. Then I assume that I am lame and bothersome so I rarely ask people to hang out, which makes me appear disinterested and aloof. And then I bitch that I have no one to go shopping or happy hour with me.
I’m a real treat.
A blogger I’ve read and admired for ages, Emily, reached out to me to hang out and I took her up on her invitation. She had a last-minute meeting near my office and wondered if I was free for lunch. I said yes, even though I wasn’t wearing the perfect outfit and hadn’t picked a place in advance and was feeling sort of shy. I had a wonderful time and am so grateful for that little act of kindness. We had a great time (at least, I did, but she didn’t block me on gchat or anything so I think it was mutual) and she didn’t seem totally freaked out by my million questions about her life.
So, I’m going to make it a goal to a.) not display the social skills of Boo Radley and b.) initiate plans with the people around me because it really shouldn’t be this challenging for a grown women to find someone to get coffee or a drink with her.
Wish me luck.