Eye of the Tiger

Pro Tip: Always take a buddy with you when shopping for a sports bra.  There is no worse feeling than being stuck, arms above your head all tangled in spandex with a nearly-dislocated shoulder, in a dressing room and wondering which option is the least horrible:

• Calling your mom to meet you at the store and cut you out of the fucking death trap.
• Putting it back on as best you can, declaring that you love it, and wearing it out of the store.
• Asking the very sweet salesgirl to come help you NOPE NOT HAPPENING THAT POOR GIRL DOES NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO DEAL WITH A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN’S BOOBS.

I managed to dislodge myself without having to cry out, “I need an adult” but it wasn’t my finest half hour.  I also worked up quite a sweat so instead of running today I think I’ll just dive into a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Please tell me this will be the least dignified thing that happens to me in relation to this stupid 5k.

Want to Freak Yourself the Hell Out?

Google “hurt swollen ankle” and start reading the Mayo Clinic’s symptom checker and have “heart failure” pop up first.  Thanks, doctors!

In other news, I signed up for a 5k in March.  The training is going just great,

I’m Not Sure What It Says About Me

That every time Ed asks, “Is that a new purse?” or “When did you get that top?” I always feel the urge to reply, “Don’t ask me about my business, Kay!”

 

 

*It should be noted that Ed is never inquiring in that sitcom-husband way that implies ladies be shopping and spending all the money but is usually trying to pay me a compliment and/or show that he notices the (albeit weak) effort I put into my appearance.