Pro Tip: Always take a buddy with you when shopping for a sports bra. There is no worse feeling than being stuck, arms above your head all tangled in spandex with a nearly-dislocated shoulder, in a dressing room and wondering which option is the least horrible:
- Calling your mom to meet you at the store and cut you out of the fucking death trap.
- Putting it back on as best you can, declaring that you love it, and wearing it out of the store.
- Asking the very sweet salesgirl to come help you NOPE NOT HAPPENING THAT POOR GIRL DOES NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO DEAL WITH A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN’S BOOBS.
I managed to dislodge myself without having to cry out, “I need an adult” but it wasn’t my finest half hour. I also worked up quite a sweat so instead of running today I think I’ll just dive into a box of Girl Scout cookies.
Please tell me this will be the least dignified thing that happens to me in relation to this stupid 5k.