Eye of the Tiger

Pro Tip: Always take a buddy with you when shopping for a sports bra.  There is no worse feeling than being stuck, arms above your head all tangled in spandex with a nearly-dislocated shoulder, in a dressing room and wondering which option is the least horrible:

  • Calling your mom to meet you at the store and cut you out of the fucking death trap.
  • Putting it back on as best you can, declaring that you love it, and wearing it out of the store.
  • Asking the very sweet salesgirl to come help you NOPE NOT HAPPENING THAT POOR GIRL DOES NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO DEAL WITH A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN’S BOOBS.

I managed to dislodge myself without having to cry out, “I need an adult” but it wasn’t my finest half hour.  I also worked up quite a sweat so instead of running today I think I’ll just dive into a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Please tell me this will be the least dignified thing that happens to me in relation to this stupid 5k.

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I’m Not Sure What It Says About Me

That every time Ed asks, “Is that a new purse?” or “When did you get that top?” I always feel the urge to reply, “Don’t ask me about my business, Kay!”

 

 

*It should be noted that Ed is never inquiring in that sitcom-husband way that implies ladies be shopping and spending all the money but is usually trying to pay me a compliment and/or show that he notices the (albeit weak) effort I put into my appearance.