The Word “Barf” Appears Here A Lot But Really This is a Happy Post

I have spent, oh, roughly the last three months bitching and whining about the heat.  THE HEAT OH MY GOD IT’S TOO HOT TO DO ANYTHING.  I’m a damn delight, yo.

 

And now Fall has actually appeared.  Last weekend it was still stifling triple digit weather and I was ready to just move or at least leave until I received word that it was tolerable to be outside for five seconds and not break out into a sweat.  And lo!  It has happened and I am giddy.  Some family friends are visiting and want to go on a hike and I am up for it because it is highly unlikely that I will drop dead from heat stroke.  The irony of the cooler weather means I actually want to be outdoors and enjoy what this town has to offer in the way of parks and trails and beautiful trees.  Except for our ginko tree.  Ugh, that fucking ginko.  How can something so beautiful produce such wretched berries?  Have you ever stepped on one?  It smells like barf.  For reals.  I even call them barf berries because I am five.  Said berries fall in our front yard, driveway and along the sidewalk in front of the house, which means the barf smell is semi-permanent until winter. 

 

Barf smell aside, I think one of the things I’m most looking forward to this Fall is the change of pace in my life.  The summer has flown by and while I have loved every crazy minute, I am pretty excited to see that every moment is not booked up.  Once the holidays hit it’s going to be nonstop action (read: I will be even more familiar with I-5 and 99) and the concept of hanging out around the house sounds oddly exotic and exciting.  I know, I am a weirdo.

 

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Thanks for the feedback on cleanses.  Yesterday I read an article that was titled “Why Cleanses are Bad and Will Kill You and Make Puppies Sad” or something equally extreme.  Turns out the gist was more about the pressure to be thin and how you shouldn’t put your body through insane things to lose a few pounds blahblah.  Basically, it’s not healthy to starve yourself.  Spread the word!

Contemplating

As fun and busy and awesome as life has been lately, I have noticed that I’ve been feeling a little sluggish and crappy and sleep (well, staying asleep) has become a challenge.  There’s nothing especially bad or upsetting going on in my life, so I’m not sure why I feel so out of it.  Weirdly enough I think it’s been the go-go-go schedule and excessive fun (read: partying it up) that has me all whackadoodle.

 

So, I’ve been reading about this cleanse that is supposed to help detoxify your body and restore energy and basically get your body back on the right track.  Now before you get all flipped out, this is NOT one of those water-only cleanses where you don’t eat anything.  This one is more about cutting out anything processed and portion control and NO TACO BELL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP IT THE DRIVE THRU PEOPLE KNOW YOU GAH!

 

So, has anyone done one of these cleanses?  Do they help?  Did you feel cleaner and lighter, or just flat-out stabby?  And most importantly: Will the Taco Bell employees send out a search party for me when they don’t see me?

Warning: Ignoring Cold Medicine Instructions May Result in Retarded Blog Posts

Apparently some plague has descended upon everyone I know because I, along with a bunch of other people, are crazy-sick.  I am hopped up on Alka Seltzer cold meds and tomato soup.  CKD knows how to rage, yo!  Last week Dave was sick and like a good hypochondriac he went from having a cold, to a really bad cold, to a sinus infection and when I left town Wednesday he was pretty sure it was the flu.  Me?  I just cut right to the chase: I have swine flu and I’m going to die.  Now can someone hand me the remote?

 

The last week has actually been really random and crazy and sad and fun and there will be a post or two describing the events – hopefully with photos – so hang in there.  I will leave you with this summary: Bret Michaels, family road trip and I flew a motherfucking plane, bitches.  All three things nearly gave my dad a stroke.

 

If anyone wants to bring me a Vitamin Water and some trashy magazines, that would be lovely.

 

Be well, Interweb.

Funemployment + CKD Foreva!

I really thought I would lose my shit once it hit me that I don’t have a J-O-B to go to each day (not to be confused with a GOB) but I swear I’ve been busier than ever.  Or maybe my time management skillz have gone to shit.  No, we’ll just go with busy.

 

What have I been up to?

 

• Switched back to contact lenses after a year of rockin’ the Tina Fey glasses.  The eye exam went off without a hitch (ie I did not flinch, freak out, cry or otherwise embarrass myself) but I was kind of bummed I didn’t have to wear an eye patch.  That would have been kind of cool. 
• Working my side business (that’s what she said) and developing a nice little client base.  It’s fun and keeping me from going crazy.  And broke.
• Applied for my dream job.  I don’t want to say much about it for fear of jinxing it, but I will find out next week if I scored an interview.  Fingers and toes crossed over here.
• I have the most disjointed next few days planned: the long-awaited Def Leppard/Poison/Cheap Trick concert (holla!) followed by a trip to Eureka for the funeral of a family friend.  Here’s hoping I manage to pack the right things for each event and not get confused in the process.  That could be awkward. 

 

If you’ll excuse me now I have to make out with my adorable new cashmere sweater from JCrew.  So soft, so pink, so lovely…