On my holiday to do list, in no particular order:
- Return duplicate gift for one niece and purchase replacement gift.
- Try not to sound like Regina George’s mom while shopping for said nieces. “So, what’s the hot jam? Oh, you girls keep me young.”
- Conversely, try not to sound like my mom while shopping for said nieces. “Why is the music so loud in here? Is that supposed to be a DRESS?”
- Let go of bizarre sense of shame that we are not – yet again – sending out Christmas cards. We always have the best intentions but…yeah. Not gonna happen. Probably ridiculous since one of us is a graphic designer who could Photoshop in something fucking amazing but you’re talking about a couple who pull out the proof book when asked about wedding photos so let’s all adjust our expectations.
- Find a New Year’s Eve outfit that does not make me look like a teenage runaway hooking on the streets and/or a recent divorcee looking to get her groove back by way of animal print.
- Take Molly to have her picture taken with Santa.
- Be really excited that shopping is done-ish. Just a few little stocking stuffers and bottles of wine (aka The Gift That Keeps on Giving) left to go.
- Wrap gifts.
- Get some eggnog up in this bitch. Can you believe it’s December 12th and I have yet to take one sip of the stuff? Bullshit.
I’m feeling pretty excited about how the errand-running side of the season is pretty much done, leaving room for socializing, drinking eggnog, and trying to put antlers on the dog while she fantasizes about pissing in my shoe.* Due to the four-sets-of-parents nature of our families, we are traveling AND hosting this year, which I thought would be weirdly stressful (so much time on I-5 coupled with the task of feeding nearly a dozen people for days on end didn’t really scream “relaxing”) but is turning out to be pretty boss. The pressure to provide two magical, perfect Christmas meals has been lifted and that means less shopping and time chained to the oven and more visiting with loved ones and drinking eggnog. Plus, we plan to put the nieces to work to help clean, set up and clean again. Merry Christmas, girls! Welcome to Auntie’s Holiday Sweatshop!
So, how are we all feeling about the holidays? Overwhelmed? Or kicking its ass and taking its name? Or just drinking a shit ton of eggnog and hoping for the best?
*She has never actually done this, but if the disgusted look on her face is any indication, I think she’d like to.