The Good, The Bad, and The I’m Not Ugly Because I Buy My Body Weight in Products

Uh, super-awkward but: I didn’t mean for the title of that last post to sound like a damn suicide note.  This is what happens when a Monty Python joke seems funny in your own head but doesn’t really translate.  I just meant that this blog isn’t dead!  I’m most definitely not dead!  Everything’s cool!

Moving on.

The Good:

  • We’re headed to New York in two weeks and HOLY SHIT am I one excited little lady.  I’m tagging along while Ed attends a conference for two days and then we have another two and a half days to ourselves to play.  I figure that my two days essentially on my own will be focused on Shit Ed’s Not Particularly Interested In (aka wander around the Anthropologie in SoHo and try on ALL THE THINGS), but if anyone has any suggestions for fun solo activities, things to do, places to eat/day drink, or wants to come hang out with me, let me know.
  • I think it speaks to our collective nerdiness and inner fat kids that we are planning our days based on where to eat and which museums to visit.  Top o’ the list: Natural History Museum.  Fuck yeah, dinosaurs!
  • At Easter Bubba informed me, and I quote, “Your dance moves are bad, but you are a good sister.”  He is so over my Hammer dancing.  It breaks my heart a little, but I’m glad he’s developing his own taste.

The Bad:

  • Work continues to break my spirit and I’m embarrassed at how much I’ve allowed that place to dictate my moods and self-worth.  Not cool. 
  • Aforementioned horrid cycle o’ crazy and general malaise.
  • My allergies have me in a state of wheezing, sneezing, and keeping wads of tissues tucked into my sweater pockets like the complete sexpot that I am.  Ugh.

The I’m Not Ugly Because I Buy My Body Weight in Products:

  •  PosietintSugarbomb = I am a glowing goddess but without looking all overdone and Kardashianesque.  
  •  Fakeup is the best concealer I’ve used in ages.  Look, I tried to go all Drugstore Dupe Diva but fuck that shit. I’m shelling out for the good shit and looking hella well-rested doing it.  Recognize.
  • We are huge fans of “your mom” jokes (it’s The Algonquin Round Table up in here) so I giggled when I saw that there was a hair product called Not Your Mother’s with an entire line of curly-haired goodies.  I had always been a devoted Bumble+bumble fan, but this stuff is a fraction of the price and smells nice and MAKES MY HAIR LOOK PRETTY AND NOT LIKE I’M PHIL SPECTOR’S SECRET KID.  Sold!  Love the Kinky Moves and Beach Babe spray.
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Not Dead Yet

Hey – did you miss me?  Think I had abandoned you all?  Perish the thought.

No real excuse or great explanation other than there’s really nothing like sinking into a nice little self-loathing depression and going into hiding and then beating yourself up for isolating yourself and being a shitty friend who doesn’t return messages and starting the whole “WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LOSER I MEAN GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY” cycle all over again for a month or so.  Good fucking times.

Anyway, in the midst of my little hideout from social media while curled up on the couch with episodes of “New Girl” and Molly and Ed, I found myself able to climb out of the crazy (slowly, surely) and also found that while I missed this little corner of the Interweb, I really didn’t pine for keeping up with Facebook, Twitter, or even Pinterest.  Sure, I missed some of the witty bon mots of certain friends and the way that style boards inspire me to step it up for work.  But mostly?  I liked not comparing my life to everyone else’s life and wondering why every weekend we had wasn’t a scene out of a Martha Stewart magazine; I also needed to avoid the near-constant pregnancy announcements, maternity photo shoots, and family portraits, if we’re being totally honest here.  I turned my attention outward to get out of the funk.  Spending time with family, planning a new garden with Ed, and making plans for our future pulled me out a lot faster. There were many times I wanted to pull up a blank WordPress page and start typing away and hit publish and pull people down into the pity-party with me, if for no other reason than to feel connected to the outside world.  It occurred to me that maybe I should start with the immediate world around me and then work from there.  And it feels better every day.

Often the worst part of this cycle is how ungrateful I must look to those around me and it just fuels the fire, but all I can do is weather it and keep making plans.  It’s really all any of us can do, right?